Blog Archive
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2009
(125)
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February
(42)
- Saturday Morning Cartoons
- Friday Night Jam
- Do You Want Fries With That?
- Bow Chicka Wow Wow!!
- Songs Named After Women
- Off Season Blues
- A Day In The Life Of Abbey Road
- E Trade Baby
- Christian Bale Is A Good Actor... And Apparently A...
- Who Knew?
- Japan Is Full Of Smart Asses
- The Rock-afire Explosion Cover Band
- Ahhh... those crazy Asians. Anyone who flys alot h...
- Baby Faced Dad
- Rihanna Confronts Beyonce
- New Beginnings
- Saturday Morning Cartoons
- Friday Night Jam
- 13 Facts About Friday The 13th
- Nerd Coolness
- Naughty Ad Part 2
- The Naughtiest Thing You'll Ever See, Without Feel...
- I'm With The Band
- Nervous Bastards
- You About To Get Lit Up!
- Best Handsanitizer Commericial.....Ever.
- Your Kid Is A Pussy!
- True...True
- Balls Of Solid Rock
- Man Versus The Not So Wild
- I'm On A Boat
- Monday Morning Beatdown
- The Early Bird Gets The Worm, But The Smart Bird K...
- Saturday Morning Cartoon
- The Party Store
- Damn Good Dawg R.I.P.
- Friday Night Jam
- GO GO GADGET LEGS
- Female Drivers
- David After The Dentist
- Talking Goat
- The Hybrid Man
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February
(42)
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Saturday Morning Cartoons
"Oh my head....I'm so wasted"
"You suck, but not like your mama"
"God has some serious red eye"
"The F Toe"
"Saint Dickaless"
I know the humor is a little juvenile...but so am I. I hope you got a good chuckle. "You know why Im your daddy? Because I did your mama like this!"
Friday, February 27, 2009
Friday Night Jam
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Do You Want Fries With That?
Carl's Jr. liked the vid and even posted one of their own.
And to top it all off, it turns out the Carl's Jr. happy star saves Rob's life. Karma like a mutha fucka!
Songs Named After Women
"Go Fuck Yourself!"
Here are just a couple of my favorite songs named after chicks. The first is Minnie the Moocher performed by the great jazz legend Cab Calloway. This is a clip from the movie Blues Brothers. This is such a great movie and it's so awesome that Cab done the song seeing as how he was doing in in the 40's!
"Hi dee hi dee hi dee ho"
Sorry about the part where the Brothers speak German. Its the only clip I could find that the embedding wasn't disabled. I had a similar problem with my next video. I originally wanted Billie Jean, but luckily Wacko Jacko named another song after a chick, and I like it just as much. So here's Dirty Diana from 1987...
"I'll be your everything, if you make me your star"
I remember hearing this song as a kid and entering puberty prematurely. It takes a damn good song to make you feel dirty at age six! lmao. So leave me a comment and tell me your favorite song named after a woman.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Off Season Blues
Like all football fans, I hate this time of year because there isn't any football to watch. I'm desperate for the draft just to satisfy my needs. All my friends know I'm a die hard Georgia Bulldawgs fan. I scratch to find any Bulldawgs news I can find in the off season to keep me entertained through these dire times. I saw this posted up at www.Georgiasports.blogspot.com and figured I'd share it with my other football fans. Come along as Vince Vance and Tavarres King take you on a tour of the Bulldawgs locker room.
Is anyone else ready for the fall and Okie State? Gooooo Dawgs! SIC EM!!! WOOF WOOF WOOF!! G.A.T.A.!
Monday, February 23, 2009
A Day In The Life Of Abbey Road
The above cover to the album Abbey Road is arguably the most famous cover of all time. Coincidentally, it is also consider The Beatles most successful album. It is the most imitated and duplicated cover art ever. The photographer, Iain MacMillan, had only 10 minutes to take the photo. The man in the background on the sidewalk, didn't even know he was in the photo until the album was released. He is a U.S. tourist named Paul Cole. The VW Bug belonged to some people living in the apartments near-by, and it's currently on display in a museum in Germany. Well, because the image is so famous, it remains a major tourist draw and photography spot. Watch this video time lapse of a day in the life of Abbey Road.
This really made me wanna visit there. By the way, I know this is my first posting in several days, but my Internet has been acting up. Sorry about the delay. I live too far in the damn country.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
E Trade Baby
"What? I can't flex the golden pipes?"
"Frank, it was on the cart path, why don't you try reading the rules, Shankapotamus"
"Her online profile says she's 5'11", I'm like pounds maybe"
"I really underestimated the creepiness"
"That piece of shit up there, I never liked him, I never trusted him"
I'll never get tired of these. I hope they keep them coming.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Christian Bale Is A Good Actor... And Apparently An Asshole!
"I dropped a peanut M&M and it rolled over here" LMAO
I love the part where he says "you're going to owe a fortune to the swear jar". Which brings me to another clip I love. My all time favorite commercial.
"Will the owner of a white station wagon please go fuck yourself?"
I'm still going to watch his movies, but that audio sample proves the guy is just another Hollywood douche bag. If that doesn't prove it to you, maybe you remember this...CHRISTIAN BALE DENIES ASSAULT ALLEGATION. He assaulted his mother and sister? What a great guy! I repeat... DOUCHE BAG!! (Just a side note that I found humorous, Spellcheck just informed me that Douche Bag is two words as opposed to the way I was writing it, douchebag. lmao! Who knew douche bag was in Spellcheck? Also I find it funny that it didn't say anything about the word ape-shit.)
Who Knew?
Who knew he had his own elf?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Japan Is Full Of Smart Asses
The Rock-afire Explosion Cover Band
Basically, that is the coolest fucking thing ever. Ev-Ver. I also saw a clip of them doing Lollipop by Lil Wayne and a Shakira song. The best part is that this isn't just pieced together clips. Mr. Fletcher actually choreographed all this. This guy just keeps kicking ass the older he gets! Anyways, seeing this clip reminded me of this bit by one of my favorite comedians Rodney Carrington.
"Do you know how bad you got to fuck up to get banned from Chuck-E's?"
Classic. Thanks to Yesbutnobutyes.com for the heads up on this clip.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Baby Faced Dad
"what's financially?"
This speaks highly on the sad state of affairs in this world. The kid didn't even understand the word financially. I fathered a child at 21 and I wasn't ready to be a father. The real victim in the whole situation is the baby girl. Her chances for turning out somewhat normal are extremely low at this point. I just hope other kids will see this and learn from it. If you're going to be a 13 year old pimp...wear protection!
Rihanna Confronts Beyonce
"Bitch you trippin', I ain't told Chris Brown a mutha fuckin' thang!"
New Beginnings
D'OH!!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Saturday Morning Cartoons
"At Delta, we luvs us sum flyin', and it be showin like a mutha fucka!"
What a great parody. Have a great Valentines day.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Friday Night Jam
Colt Ford ft. John Michael Montgomery "Ride Through The Country"
"I'm loud, proud, and country by the grace of God"
13 Facts About Friday The 13th
If you fear Friday the 13th, then batten down the hatches. This week's unlucky day is the first of three this year.
The next Friday the 13th comes in March, followed by Nov. 13. Such a triple whammy comes around only every 11 years, said Thomas Fernsler, a math specialist at the University of Delaware who has studied the number 13 for more than 20 years.
By the numbers
Here are 13 more facts about the infamous day, courtesy of Fernsler and some of our own research:
1. The British Navy built a ship named Friday the 13th. On its maiden voyage, the vessel left dock on a Friday the 13th, and was never heard from again.
2. The ill-fated Apollo 13 launched at 13:13 CST on Apr. 11, 1970. The sum of the date's digits (4-11-70) is 13 (as in 4+1+1+7+0 = 13). And the explosion that crippled the spacecraft occurred on April 13 (not a Friday). The crew did make it back to Earth safely, however.
3. Many hospitals have no room 13, while some tall buildings skip the 13th floor.
4. Fear of Friday the 13th - one of the most popular myths in science - is called paraskavedekatriaphobia as well as friggatriskaidekaphobia. Triskaidekaphobia is fear of the number 13.
5. Quarterback Dan Marino wore No. 13 throughout his career with the Miami Dolphins. Despite being a superb quarterback (some call him one of the best ever), he got to the Super Bowl just once, in 1985, and was trounced 38-16 by the San Francisco 49ers and Joe Montana (who wore No. 16 and won all four Super Bowls he played in).
6. Butch Cassidy, notorious American train and bank robber, was born on Friday, April 13, 1866.
7. Fidel Castro was born on Friday, Aug. 13, 1926.
8. President Franklin D. Roosevelt would not travel on the 13th day of any month and would never host 13 guests at a meal. Napoleon and Herbert Hoover were also triskaidekaphobic, with an abnormal fear of the number 13.
9. Superstitious diners in Paris can hire a quatorzieme, or professional 14th guest.
10. Mark Twain once was the 13th guest at a dinner party. A friend warned him not to go. "It was bad luck," Twain later told the friend. "They only had food for 12."
11. Woodrow Wilson considered 13 his lucky number, though his experience didn't support such faith. He arrived in Normandy, France on Friday, Dec. 13, 1918, for peace talks, only to return with a treaty he couldn't get Congress to sign. (The ship's crew wanted to dock the next day due to superstitions, Fernsler said.) He toured the United States to rally support for the treaty, and while traveling, suffered a near-fatal stroke.
12. The number 13 suffers from its position after 12, according to numerologists who consider the latter to be a complete number - 12 months in a year, 12 signs of the zodiac, 12 gods of Olympus, 12 labors of Hercules, 12 tribes of Israel, 12 apostles of Jesus, 12 days of Christmas and 12 eggs in a dozen.
13. The seals on the back of a dollar bill include 13 steps on the pyramid, 13 stars above the eagle's head, 13 war arrows in the eagle's claw and 13 leaves on the olive branch. So far there's been no evidence tying these long-ago design decisions to the present economic situation.
Origins of Friday the 13th
Where's all this superstition come from? Nobody knows for sure. But it may date back to Biblical times (the 13th guest at the Last Supper betrayed Jesus). By the Middle Ages, both Friday and 13 were considered bearers of bad fortune.
Meanwhile the belief that numbers are connected to life and physical things - called numerology - has a long history.
"You can trace it all the way from the followers of Pythagoras, whose maxim to describe the universe was 'all is number,'" says Mario Livio, an astrophysicist and author of "The Equation That Couldn't Be Solved" (Simon & Schuster, 2005). Thinkers who studied under the famous Greek mathematician combined numbers in different ways to explain everything around them, Livio said.
In modern times, numerology has become a type of para-science, much like the meaningless predictions of astrology, scientists say.
"People are subconsciously drawn towards specific numbers because they know that they need the experiences, attributes or lessons, associated with them, that are contained within their potential," says professional numerologist Sonia Ducie. "Numerology can 'make sense' of an individual's life (health, career, relationships, situations and issues) by recognizing which number cycle they are in, and by giving them clarity."
Mathematicians dismiss numerology as having no scientific merit, however.
"I don't endorse this at all," Livio said, when asked to comment on the popularity of commercial numerology for a story prior to the date 06/06/06. Seemingly coincidental connections between numbers will always appear if you look hard enough, he said.
Thanks to livescience.com for the story.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Nerd Coolness
There will be a quiz in over this shit in the morning. I hope you payed attention. Thanks to Neatorama for the vid.
Naughty Ad Part 2
"You can't beat a good cucumber, I always say" Classic.
The Naughtiest Thing You'll Ever See, Without Feeling Naughty
Squeaky Squeaky!!
This is how sex ed should be in school. I've actually been with a few people who could watch this and learn a few pointers...lol. I never knew condoms could have so much fun without people.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
I'm With The Band
Don't be surprised if soon you hear about a couple of terrorists dressed as D.J.s trying to get into an Obama house party! ...what? You and I both know a brotha gonna have a house party!
Nervous Bastards
Lorien, I hope I've satisfied your strange obsession with goats for the day. And to all my readers, I'm always open for requests. I'm just happy seeing that ya'll like my site.
You About To Get Lit Up!
"C'mon man. I'm just going to the oyster shack!" I feel his pain.
It just goes to show that knowing your rights doesn't mean jack shit! Lmao
Update... There's two more of these videos. Apparently Steve is a repeat offender. This has to be some kind of training video. If not, it should be.
Domestic Dispute:
"You came for her. Hold on, I'll go get her."
I KNOW MY RIGHTS!!!!
Best Handsanitizer Commericial.....Ever.
"down low"
I love watching how something so simple puts a smile on someones face. One of my favorite things to do is make other people smile, and watching these people grin over a high five made me happy and lifted my spirits. In larger cities, like the one in the clip, people are so detached from everyone around them. They move about their daily routine usually only interacting with the people that they have to. These people were obviously grumpy and tired and maybe on their way to work, which none of us enjoy, until Rob simply asks for a high five. Their faces light up, some are laughing, and their morning just became a little less mundane. I love it. High Five! Smile Dammit!
Your Kid Is A Pussy!
Don't quote me on this, but I'm pretty sure Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer both started out like him. This is what the commercials for the Marines should look like. Screw the guy slaying the dragon in his dress blues, give me a baby choking out a fuckin cobra and say something like "He's Marine Corps material. Do you have what it takes? Pussy!" OOOOH RAH!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
True...True
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Word.
Just a side note from a non pot smoker, it's about time we legalize it. There are a lot more dangerous legal drugs out there. And to Mr. Phelps, the next time you decide to get high with some college kids, stay the hell away from a bunch of nerds at the University of South Carolina. They're the fucking Gamecocks for crying out loud. Party with some real college kids over at UGA, they won't sell you out. Fuckin Lamecocks... what the hell were you thinking?
Balls Of Solid Rock
LMAO
I don't know who she slept with, but she must of seriously pissed this guy off. Do you think she got the message?
Monday, February 9, 2009
Man Versus The Not So Wild
Busted. This is why your mom told you to not believe everything you see on T.V.
I'm On A Boat
"Believe me when I say, that I fucked a mermaid" LMAO
That was so good it made me Jizz in my Pants!
Monday Morning Beatdown
Not traditional beatboxing, but definitely an original take on the subject. When I was growing up, I used to love hearing people beatbox. My favorite was Ready Rock C. To this day whenever some mentions beatboxing he always comes to mind. I always felt that no matter how good someone was, they didnt have anything on Ready Rock. So when I got ready to write this article, I had to include him.
He was the greatest of his time, but beat boxing has come a very long way since then. Here are just a few of the amazing beatboxers out there today.
MR. Scratch
My personal favorite.
Felix Zenger
Skitzovoice
Roxorloops
Varmisin Yokmusun
And finally this guy. This is very different, but very awesome.
Greg Patillo and his flute
Aight folks. Theres plenty more out there to be seen. These are just a few I liked. Hope ya'll have a good Monday.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
The Early Bird Gets The Worm, But The Smart Bird Knows How to Fish
I will make you fishers of men.
Personally I think he should try some Red Wigglers. Does it scare anyone besides me that there are animals this smart out there. I mean, the other dumb birds around him just chow down on the bread, but this is some next level shit. WTF?
Saturday Morning Cartoon
"That there's a hit...got Oscar written all over it."
And since it's my first week and I've got like 6 readers, I'll treat you to a twofer, but don't be expecting these kinda handouts every week you greedy summamabitches... Here's I'm a Little Catfish as sung by Supafly
"Tasty tasty duck"
Have a good Saturday!
The Party Store
I saw this over at neatorama and decided to share. French prankster Remi Gaillard decided to pack a bus full of folks and throw a party at a party store...sounds pretty harmless until you see the aftermath.
Damn Good Dawg R.I.P.
Ex-football player, wrestler Wilson dies
ATLANTA -- Jim Wilson, an All-America offensive lineman on Vince Dooley's first team at Georgia who played four years in the NFL and had a second career in professional wrestling, died this week, the school announced Friday.
Wilson, 67, died Monday after a battle with cancer.
Dooley described Wilson as "the strongest player I've ever seen" after helping Georgia win seven games in the coach's first season. The Pittsburgh native was drafted by the San Francisco 49ers in the fourth round of the 1965 NFL draft and was voted to the 1965 all-rookie team.
Wilson also played for the Atlanta Falcons and the Los Angeles Rams.
Wilson entered professional wrestling and was best known for his attempts to start a wrestling union and lobby for reform in the sport.
He said he was blackballed by wrestling for his efforts. He wrote a book about his experiences while continuing attempts to rein in those who govern the sport.
In 2007, he called for Congress to hold hearings on the wrestling industry.
"In those other sports, they aren't dropping like flies like they are in the wrestling business," Wilson told The Associated Press at the time. "Now is the time to push for legislation nationally."
Wilson was inducted into the Georgia Sports Hall of Fame in 2001 and into the UGA Circle of Honor in 2005. He also was a member of Georgia's 1950-75 all-time team.
A memorial service is Feb. 13 at 3 p.m. at Peachtree Presbyterian Church in Roswell.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Friday Night Jam
Every Friday I'll give you a good song to get your night started right. I hope you enjoy.
GO GO GADGET LEGS
Female Drivers
A buddy from work sent me this today. This may be a little sexist, but it sure is funny...and hard to argue with. Enjoy!
This video reminded me of an actual news story I just read about a South Korean grandmother:
South Korean Woman Fails Driving Test 771 Times
Thursday, February 05, 2009
SEOUL, South Korea — A woman in South Korea who has taken the written exam required for a driver's license nearly every day since 2005 has failed again — but is hoping attempt No. 772 will be the charm.
The aspiring driver took her first test in April 2005, according to Choi Young-chul, an official at the North Jeolla Province driver's license agency in Jeonju, 150 miles south of Seoul.
She has taken the test a record 771 times, most recently on Monday, but has yet to pass. She said she plans to take the test again but did not say when, he said Thursday.
The 68-year-old has spent $3,000 on fees for the test, he said. Applicants must score at least 60 on the written exam before they can get behind the wheel for a driving test. Choi says she's scored as high as 50.
"I feel sorry every time I see Cha fail. When she passes, I'll make a memorial tablet myself and give it to her," Park Jung-seok, a traffic police officer at the agency, told the Korea Times newspaper.
It must be some kinda worldwide epidemic. The sad shit is not that she keeps failing, but when this retarded woman finally passes, they'll give her a license. WTF? So on that observation, I'm staying my country ass outta South Korea... big disappointment huh? Anyways, the proof is in the pudding ladies..and the video. I can't make this shit up. Please comment and leave your bad driving stories.
David After The Dentist
Talking Goat
This is too funny. Reminded me of the Adam Sandler bit about the talking goat.
That shit is classic. " He's like put your dukes up, I'm like I got fuckin no dukes"!
The Hybrid Man
1. We like assholes because they are confident in who they are. Women do not want to hold your hand and tell you everything is going to be okay.
2. We like assholes because they are sarcastic and challenge our intellectual side. Yes conversations are great, but a debate where you actually stand up for your beliefs with passion are so much more respectable. Too often men now cower down just to make their spouse happy. They allow them to be right, when all she wants is for you to stand up for yourself so she can be proud of you.
3. Assholes don't have feminine voices. What the hell is up with all the men sounding like bitches now? Ok there is nothing sexy about having sex with someone who sounds more like a woman than you. Unless its another chic, but then why do we need you.
4. Assholes make fun of us. Contrary to popular belief, women do liked to get picked on. We like getting embarressed from time to time. We like men who make dumbasses out of theirselves just to make us laugh.
5. Assholes are better in bed. There is only so much "love" making before that shit gets B_O_R_I_N_G!..... Most women are so dominent in society that we like it when a man takes charge when we get home. We like knowing we are the weaker of the species. We want to feel a fire of passion and pass out with exhaustion. But really thanks for wanting to make us feel special.
6. Assholes are not afraid to stand up for themselves or us. Most men avoid fights or altercations. If someone insults your girl or you in front of her, have some dignity and stand up for them or yourself. I am not saying you should get in a fight everytime someone looks at you the wrong way, but don't run from every scenario making yourself look like a pussy or to afraid to defend your girls honor. Honestly it makes you look weak and that a turn off for every gurl, whether they admit it or not.
7. Assholes don't cry. There is nothing wrong with having emotions but most men cry over everything now. If you cry over an insult, shame on you. We live in reality and its a cruel world, and though we have strong shoulders for our men, we don't like wet clothes. Its okay to express how you feel but don't cry if she is going somewhere without you, or just needs a break, more than likely your weakness is the reason she is running.
8. Assholes give you space. Men now want to spend every second with their counterparts. Its annoying. An asshole doesn't care if you leave for a little while, it gives them time to spend with more assholes like them. Women like freedom to be who they are, not who they are with.
And here is my reply to that:
I agree with this for the most part, but not totally. When I moved from Georgia to California (1999-2003), I couldnt comprehend why most of my guy friends from other parts of the country (mainly urban areas) were such dicks when it came to chicks. I was actually pretty successful with women on southern charm alone, but I couldnt keep a woman (I ussually got left for the dickhead). Eventually, I slowly transformed from a Georgia boy into a California Dickhead, and I got laid alot more and held some great (albeit brief) relationships, but it wasnt who I am, and I felt like shit as to way I treated women, but pussy is hard to argue with. Anyways, eventually I made it back to Georgia, and I shook those bad habits. Although now that Im no longer married and back on the dating scene, Ive realized that I have to blend the two personalities. The southern gentleman with just a tinge of dickhead is the perfect man. Yin and Yang, the dark side and the force, The NRA and PETA.... they balance each other out. So realize that you dont have to have a full blown dickhead to be happy. You can have a man who stands his ground, but actually cares what you have to say... a man who lay the pimp hand down on Jesus himself if he stepped out of line and insulted you, but isnt going to get thrown in to jail everytime yall go to the bar together... a man who will pick on you from time to time, but who wouldnt emberass you in front of friends and family.... a man who doesnt cry, but will occasionally give you a glimpse of his heart... a man who doesnt want to spend every second with you, but does miss you even when he's out with his boys... a man who is confident in who he is, but sometimes needs your reassurance that he is in fact the shit... a man who makes love to you like youre his woman and not some slut, but who will indeed fuck the shit out of you after yall go out and get drunk together... and finally i agree a man doesnt have a feminine voice....I dont know what that Bitch shit is about either...lmao. So women, get a hybrid man and enjoy!!
Well, like I said, I'd love to hear your insight into this matter. Im sure Ive probably ruffled some feathers, but Ive found this to be a general truth. Liz's blog can be found here ( http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vYmxvZy5teXNwYWNlLmNvbS9pbmRleC5jZm0/ZnVzZWFjdGlvbj1ibG9nLnZpZXcmZnJpZW5kSUQ9NDI4MzgyNzAmYmxvZ0lEPTQ1MzcxNzAyMw== ) if you'd like to read the whole thing. Guys in my opinion, the best thing you can do is become a hybrid. Its the best of both worlds, and it seems to be what women want, in some weird, twisted way. I love ya ladies... bitches. lmao. Just kidding about the bitches part. I couldnt resist.