Saturday, August 28, 2010

Scared Not So Straight

For all you parents out there, hire a babysitter with a little backbone. This guy has a little too much sugar in his tank to be accountable for the safety of your child:

No knock on homosexual men, but atleast protect the child if you think you're in danger.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Friday Night Jam!!! (Old School Edition)

It's Friday people, so here's your Friday Night Jam. Me and my buddy Bobby Love were talkin' Old School Jams today, and I figured I would bless ya'lls ears tonite with some classics. So enjoy the good stuff, cause I'm taking it back to slap bracelets and shell toe Adidas...

That was the jam that made me love rap music. Hearing rap over rock had me hooked.

The Beastie Boys, were Eminem back in the day. My stepdad hated rap, but he said I could play the Beastie Boys, atleast were white.

One hit wonder, but definitely a classic.

ah ha ha ha

And then I let the Alpine play, bumpin new shit by NWA

And,yes I wore my clothes backwards to school... once.

Jump up, Jump Up and Get Down!!

You damn sure can't touch those pants! Stop! Hammer Time!

Word to ya Mutha!!

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.

Aight ya'll, I hope ya'll enjoyed the memories!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Saturday Night Jam!!!

I had a busy day yesterday, so I didn't have time to bring ya'll a Friday Night Jam. To make up for that, I'm giving ya'll a Saturday Night Jam, because it's my blog and that's how I roll. I finally got cleared to return to work, got my truck back in working order, had to mess with my dawgs, and went and saw The Expendables with my girl. It was a great action flick, but the story could've been told a lot better. Anyways, back to business, here's your Friday Night Jam on a Saturday Night. On Facebook the other day, a friend of mine had the lyrics to a song called Peaches, by The Presidents Of The United States Of America, as her status. For those of you unfamiliar with them, they were popular in the mid 90's. I was a big fan of theirs. Lump is the song that I first remember hearing by them and it is also the band's favorite single:

Pay attention kids, that's the good stuff! This song was also the target of Weird Al. His version Gump is great:

And that's all I have to say about that.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Friday Night Jam!!! (Friday the 13th Edition)

It's time again for Friday Night Jam, and since it's Friday the 13th I decided to bring ya'll a horror themed jam. So enjoy the best horror song, and video in my opinion, of all time. Here's Michael Jackson's Thriller:

...and here's an even more disturbing version. These are Filipino inmates performing MJ's classic song:

...And just for good measure, here's nearly every kill from every Friday the 13th film:

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Excited Yet?

I know I am. This is the new video that's suppose to be played between the 3rd and 4th quarters in Athens. Gooo Dawgs! Sic Em!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Take This Job And Shove It!!!

I'll never forget the first time I got to tell a boss that I quit. I was working on base in San Diego at a gas station for extra money while I was in the Marines. I enjoyed all my coworkers, and even my manager was really nice, but I had an assistant manager from hell. Well, one day I had a big night planned so I asked for the night off. My manager said no problem and told me to take the next day off as well. The big night was a blast and I was sound asleep in my bed when the phone rings. I look at the clock, it's 7am and I'm hungover. I answer the phone to hear the voice of a woman I can't stand, my assistant manager. She needs me to come in because of some sort of screw up on the schedule. As I'm informing her that I have the day off and I'm not gonna be coming in, she just keeps getting bitchier. So I kindly inform her that she can work the register, and that she can also shove that job where the sun don't shine. Man, did that ever feel good!

Well, on the web today I came across two pretty cool stories about people quitting their jobs. The first was a gay flight attendant that apparently had enough:

       Steven Slater, who was working on a Jet Blue flight at New York's Kennedy International     Airport, was apparently the subject verbal abuse from a passenger who tried to prematurely retrieve his luggage.

       As a result, Slater, 38, took to the aircraft's internal intercom where he made a public retort to the passenger, saying something akin to: "To the f***ing a**hole who told me to f**k off, it's been a good 28 years. I've had it. That's it!" – according to a source.

      He then activated the plane's emergency slide, grabbed a beer from the beverage cart and alighted the carrier – much to the surprise of the remaining passengers and fellow crew.

Man, that's classic. I love the slide and  beer part.

To top it all off, when the cops came to arrest this guy, he was BANGING HIS BOYFRIEND! Must of been the heat of the moment. So, that guy was pretty epic, but this next chick is just as awesome, just not as reckless. I found this story over on The Chive. Her name is Jenny and she quit her job by sending all of her fellow employees an email containing these pics:

That had to be the best email she ever sent. I hope she finds a job soon. As far as this post goes... I QUIT!!!!

Update 8/13/10: The girl quitting her job via email turned out to be a hoax!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Just Around The Corner

It's about to be my favorite time of the year. Football season is almost here. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a diehard Dawgs fan. There is nothing that can compare to being in Athens on a Saturday in the fall cheering my favorite team on to victory. And there is no team I hate more than those lizards from Floriduh, which is why I love Hairy's reaction in this ESPN commercial:

I don't know who that guy with him is, but he ain't much of a real Dawgs fan. Either way, Hairy puts him in his place. Gooo Dawgs! Sic Em!!!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Rap Translated

I love all music, from Johnny Cash to Jay-Z and everything in between, there's no telling what you'll find me listening to at any given time. Some people say they like one kind or another, but I often go straight from a rap CD to a country CD and I personally don't find that odd. I think people stay away from different kinds of music because a language barrier of sorts exists. No, no one is speaking Spanish. What I mean is the difference in slang and references to culture make it hard to identify with if you're not educated in that lifestyle or if you're simply too closed minded to care. I've noticed that when rap music was put into terms country people understand and sung about things they like, all of a sudden, rap was good music to Joe Redneck. Colt
Ford is the ultimate example of this:

People that never cared for rap music before, love them some Colt Ford. I've seen him play at country bars and on CMT, places a normal rap act wouldn't normally be found. What's the biggest difference between Colt and Biggie Smalls? No not the color of their skin. Eminem is white and he doesn't appeal to your average country listener. The difference is what they're rapping about. Country folks relate to what Colt is saying. So they actually like rap music for it's style, maybe just not it's subject matter, and they never realized it until now.

So today I came across a translation of one of my favorite rap songs of all time, Regulate, by Warren G featuring Nate Dogg, which oddly enough took the theme of its song and a soundbite from the move Young Guns, which was a cowboy flick. Here's the original song:

And here's a translation for those of you not hip to the lingo from Wikipedia:

"On a cool, clear night (typical to Southern California) Warren G travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate sexual intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.[6]

Nate Dogg, having just arrived in Long Beach, seeks Warren. On his way to find Warren, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. Regardless, he insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.

Warren makes a left turn at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, in the East Hill/Salt Lake neighborhood[7], where he sees a group of young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them. He is excited to find people to play with, but to his chagrin, he discovers they intend to relieve him of his material possessions. Once the hopeful robbers reveal their firearms, Warren realizes he is in a less than favorable predicament.

Meanwhile, Nate passes the women, as they are low on his list of priorities. His primary concern is locating Warren. After curtly casting away the strumpets (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their automobile), he serendipitously stumbles upon his friend, Warren G, being held up by the young miscreants.

Warren, unaware that Nate is surreptitiously observing the scene unfold, is in disbelief that he is being robbed. The perpetrators have taken jewelry and a name brand designer watch from Warren, who is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers intend to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question.

Observing these unfortunate proceedings, Nate realizes that he may have to use his firearm to deliver his friend from harm.

The tension crescendos as the robbers point their guns to Warren's head. Warren senses the gravity of his situation. He cannot believe the events unfolding could happen in his own neighborhood. As he imagines himself in a fantastical escape, he catches a glimpse of his friend, Nate.

Nate has seventeen cartridges to expend (sixteen residing in the pistol's magazine, with a solitary round placed in the chamber and ready to be fired) on the group of robbers, and he uses many of them. Afterward, he generously shares the credit for neutralizing the situation with Warren, though it is clear that Nate did all of the difficult work. Putting congratulations aside, Nate quickly reminds himself that he has committed multiple homicides to save Warren before letting his friend know that there are females nearby if he wishes to fornicate with them.

Warren recalls that it was the promise of copulation that coaxed him away from his previous activities, and is thankful that Nate knows a way to satisfy these urges.

Nate quickly finds the women who earlier crashed their car on Nate's account. He remarks to one that he is fond of her physical appeal. The woman, impressed by Nate's singing ability, asks that he and Warren allow her and her friends to share transportation. Soon, both friends are driving with automobiles full of women to the East Side Motel, presumably to consummate their flirtation in an orgy.

The third verse is more expository, with Warren and Nate explaining their G Funk musical style. Warren displays his bravado by claiming that individuals with equivalent knowledge could not even attempt to approach his level of lyrical mastery. There follows a brief discussion of the genre's musicological features, with special care taken to point out that in said milieu the rhythm is not in fact the rhythm, as one might assume, but actually the bass. Similarly the bass serves a purpose closer to that which the treble would in more traditional musical forms. Nate goes on to note that if any third party smokes as he does, they would find themselves in a state of intoxication daily (from Nate's other works, it can be inferred that the substance referenced is marijuana). Nate concludes his delineation of the night by issuing a vague threat to "busters," suggesting that he and Warren will further "regulate" any potential incidents in the future (presumably by engaging their enemies with small arms fire)."

Maybe if it was worded that way from jump street, an entirely different fanbase would've been bumping it. Anyways, seeing that made me laugh and reminded me of something similar I saw awhile back. It's kinda the same thing, but this time with a rap battle. For those of you who don't understand the concept of a rap battle, it's a war of words between to rappers, where the end result is to make the other rapper feel bad about his mother and where he came from. Watch the movie 8 Mile. Here's the original battle:

And here's the translated version:

I hope this made ya'll laugh as hard as I did.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Friday Night Jam!!!

It's Friday people, and it's been too long since I gave ya'll a Friday Night Jam. So here's the new video for a song that's burning up the radio and my 2nd favorite song off of Eminem's new album Recovery, "Love The Way You Lie" featuring Rhianna:

"It wasn't you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though"

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Here Kitty Kitty Kitty!

Some people hate cats. Me personally, I'm a dog person. Cats are too much like women, fun to pet, but way too fickle. A dog is loyal and will lay by your feet. And they shit outdoors. Anyways, I spotted this little gem over on The Chive. This is an email exchange between a secretary, who's also cat enthusiast, and a graphic designer, who's on the opposite end of the spectrum.