Blog Archive

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Minnesota Senator/ Mick Jagger

Any SNL fan knows that the new senator from Minnesota, Al Franken, is a very funny man, but this impression of Mick Jagger is dead on. Thank God for a funny man in office.

Happy Fourth Of July

The Declaraction of Independece as it was meant to be read...

God bless America! Now, back to drinking...

It All Makes Sense Now

I know he's dead, and I love his music, but this is just fuckin hilarious. Gotta love the explanation that we've all wanted for so long.

"He better notta fucked with my reputation..."

Friday, July 3, 2009

Friday Night Jam

It's fourth of July weekend and so Friday night jam is getting it's patrotic on. Here's two great songs to put the proud American in back into you. Enjoy your fireworks and hotdogs.

I know alot of people think Toby Keith used the whole patriotic thing to make money and revive his career. Ya'll can kiss my Marine ass. Like him or not, his music puts chill bumps on the bodies of troops everytime it's played. He makes them feel appreciated during a time when too many Americans don't seem thankful at all.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Blood On The Dance Floor

This is a very powerful video, with a very powerful message. The tragedy in Iran needs to be dealt with. The evil regime running that country needs to be ousted. If there's a more appropriate song out there for the images in this video, I can't think of it.

Great Mashup. I hope the U.N. grows some balls and steps in soon.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Friday Night Mega Jam

A legend left us yesterday. Michael Jackson passed at age 50 due to a heart attack. Everyone has mixed feelings about Michael, and due to the circumstances that surrounded the past 10 years of his life, that's ok. I'm not getting into that. What he did or what he didn't do is between him and God. Here's what I know about Michael, the man was born to entertain, and he entertained us better than anyone. His music, stlyle, and dance moves single handly changed and influenced more people's lives than can be imagined. He grabbed our attention from the time he was just a young man in The Jackson 5 and he never let go. Our children's children and every generation after will hear his voice, see his videos, feel his rhythm, and become entranced by the man, the legend, the entertainer... Michael Jackson. R.I.P.

Finally, here's a video of a cop who doesnt realize he's being watched...

Kinda unrelated I know, but the music rocks.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Friday Night Jam

Friday Night, What What! I'm feeling old school tonight, so jam out with me to the sounds of Run DMC's It's Tricky...

Run DMC-It's Tricky - The best video clips are right here

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It's Better To Be Humble

I hate people who brag entirely too much. The one thing about bragging a lot is that you get real good at it, like Terrell Owens. watch what happens when someone new at it gives it a try...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Light Rider

I should've went to college. I mean, where else does cool shit like this happen? Checkout this dorm room light show...

The Hoff would be pleased.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Human Thunderstorm

This is too cool. Watch and listen as this choir brings a thunderstorm to life.


Friday Night Jam

Friday Night Dammit... I'm going to be stuck at work, but I hope everyone has a drink for me. Meanwhile, get your night started right with Michael Jackson and the tale of a Smooth Criminal...

To my closet MJ fan, ask and you shall receive, but if you don't become a follower soon... NO SOUP FOR YOU!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Pound It

Most of my posts on here are funny and entertaining, but this one is purely for my own benefit. Anyone who knows me personally knows I lost a lot of weight last year. Unfortunately, I haven't done a very good job of keeping it off. So, Ive decided to get with the program. For the next 12 weeks, I'm going to keep track of my progress on my site. I've even taken some of those corny before and after pics. Without further ado, here's my fat ass...

June 10 2009
Current Weight: 231.2
Total Weight Loss: N/A

Feel free to cheer me on... my goal is 210lbs.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Some Things Are Just Awesome

Hammer pants are one of those things. Watch this flash mob suprise people at a trendy store as an ad for M.C. Hammer's new reality show.

Love me some Hammer. Here's In Living Color's view of Hammer Pants...

Thursday, June 4, 2009

If Tim Tebow Played Baseball

570ft Home Runs.

96mph Fastballs.

16yrs Old.

That's how this weeks cover of Sports Illustrated reads.

The person they're calling the Lebron James of baseball is Bryce Harper, a sophmore from Nevada. He's 6'3", 205lbs. He dominates as both a catcher and a pitcher. His bat speed is already faster than Mark McGwire's in his prime. He's so fast that he's scored from 2nd base 6 times this year off wild pitches. Just imagine how much better he can become, seeing as how at 16 he is still a growing boy. This kid is unreal.

P.S. Yeah Yeah... I referenced Tebow in the title. I'm a gator hater to the bone people, but even I have to admit, Tebow is an amazing player. Besides, I'll always have this...

Super Hero Moves

Damien Walters is an Olympic gymnast and capable of some amazing moves. Not long ago I posted a video of Danny Macaskill ripping up urban terrain on a bike , imagine that without the bike...

That is freaking Awesome!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Double Standard

George W. Bush was probably the most made fun of President in history. I liked the guy, but he sure made himself an easy target. Presidents are going to be made fun of. All politicians are. But with our new President, we have quite a predicament. How do you make fun of a black president, without getting accused of being racist. (even though he is half white, you ain't winning that war) Jimmy Kimmel decided to go into a black barbershop and test the waters.

Yes We Can

The other day, I went to the furniture store to buy a new love seat. I should've known something was fishy when all the salesmen were black. Well, I find a couch I like, and get it home only to discover... it was a BLACK COUCH!!! When I sat in it, my T.V. immediately changed to B.E.T. If only I would've went to Redhouse Furniture...

Thank God for racially diverse coffee tables. It's about damn time.

Friday Night Jam

I know I've been away for some time people, but real life called. Anyways, I'm back and it's time for your Friday Night Jam. Back in high school I was a huge fan of an hugely underrated band called Cake. Here's their single Going The Distance. It was probably their biggest hit and the song I first heard by them. Enjoy your Friday night.

Awesome Wedding Video

Wedding videos are a great way to preserve the memories of your special day. The people over at LOCKDOWN projects will make your wedding video truly amazing.

Brian & Eileen's Wedding Music Video. from LOCKDOWN projects on Vimeo.

Guns And Skateboards... 2 Of My Favorite Things

This is a little video called Skatebang. There's really no way to describe it other than to say it's downright weird.

After watching all those guys eat shit, I'm reminded as to why you'll no longer find me on a skateboard.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Putting Reality In It's Place

I hate reality T.V.. I hate it with a passion. I have enough bullshit going on in my life. I don't need to follow someone else's life, and I hate hearing them whine about their problems or hear them fussing. One of the shows I hate the most is My Super Sweet 16. If you haven't seen this show, it's about kids turning 16 who are entirely too spoiled, by their entirely too rich parents. I can't stand a bratty, unappreciative child. What this show should do, is take poor kids and give them all these nice things for their birthdays. The kids on this show need a bullet to the head, to spare the rest of society from their egotistical ways. So, when I saw this clip of Charlie Brooker railing against the machine, I had to share it. Enjoy!

...and then I saw this. My Super Shitty 30 is sad, but a little more accurate.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Tarantino. Need I Say More?

Quentin Tarantino makes the best movies. They're not for everybody, but they're damn sure for me. If you are a fan of good dialogue, then you are probably a fan of his movies. Anyways, here's an awesome mix of his movies. Thanks to yesbutnobutyes for the link and Eclectic Method for bringing us this awesomeness!

The Tarantino Mixtape from Eclectic Method on Vimeo.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Texts From Last Night

I've found a new favorite site. is one of the funniest sites ever. We've all sent and received drunken texts, but usually they're not truly appreciated until the next day. Anyways, I read this site every day and crack up. So I think every so often I'll give ya'll the funniest ones.

(925): i think i just met the girl of my dreams. someone made a serious statement about rape and she said "pish posh, i love surprise sex"

Surprised sex... that's friggin awesome!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Ultimate Mother's Day Gift

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. I want everyone to think back on all the gifts they've ever given or gotten for Mother's Day. Now watch this clip from Saturday Night Live and ask yourself if you've ever given a gift this good. Here's Mother Lover, feat. Justin Timberlake, Adam Samberg, Susan Sarandon, and Patricia Clarkson.

Mexican Car Crash

I'm at a loss for words on this one. I'm not sure if it's real, but it's definitely real funny.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Friday Night Jam

It's Friday night and unfortunately I'm heading to work. So to you lucky souls who get to enjoy Friday night, start it off with this classic by AC/DC, You Shook Me All Night Long...

Thursday, April 30, 2009

This Shit Ain't New

Apparently the swine flu isn't new. Here's a PSA from the 70's about it.

Source Of The Swine Flu Discovered

LMAO!!! I received this as an email today and proceeded to giggle my ass off. I hope ya'll enjoy. Thanks De Ana.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Those Kooky Japanese

I saw this video on a couple of sites described as the weirdest Japanese commercial ever. I can't argue with that description, so here's the weirdest Japanese commercial ever...

Friday, April 24, 2009

Friday Night Jam

It's time for your Friday Night Jam and tonight I'm taking you waaaaaaaaaaay back. Here's UB40 with Red Red Wine... reminds me of my childhood at the skating rink.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

One Hell Of A Reunion

My 10 year reunion is this year and I can only hope it is halfway as interesting as this one. Andrea Wachner hated her high school, so of course, she dreaded going to her 10 year reunion. So instead of going, she decided to send a stripper posing as her. Hilarity ensues.

What a genius idea and a great social experiment. I love when she starts giving lap dances on the dance floor.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Poetry Comes In Many Forms

I spent my childhood on four wheels strapped to 7 layers of plywood. I thought I'd ride a skateboard until I died... or die riding a skateboard at the rate I was going. Alas, I grew up and staying in one piece became more important. Still, to this day, there are few things I enjoy as much as watching someone who is great on a skateboard. It makes me wanna jump right back on the board and try again. However, I'm quickly reminded that, as Toby Keith puts it, I ain't as good as I once was!

Along with riding a skateboard, I'd try almost anything on a bike, and I enjoy watching the greats on two wheels as well. To a lot of people who never got into these sports, it may seem like a childish thing to watch, but I believe if you watch this video of Inspired Bicycles' team rider Danny MacAskill, you'll begin to understand.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Facebook Etiquette

One of my early posts on here was called Facebook Summarized and it kinda broke down the basics of social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace, which I spend way too much time on. Well this video lays the law about some basic Facebook manners which should be followed. Pay close attention.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

That's My Dawg!!

Matt Stafford was on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and he was pretty impressive. For those of you not into sports or who live under a rock, Matt is the predicted number 1 pick in this years NFL draft and he was the quarterback for my Georgia Bulldawgs. Watch this video and you'll see what all the fuss is about.

Gooooooo Dawgs! Sic Em! Woof Woof Woof!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Pac Attack

Some of you may remember my post awhile back of French prankster Remi Gaillard throwing a party at the party store ( ). Well he's back at it and this time he's bringing Pac Man to life. Enjoy...

Friday Night Jam

Apparently I'm doing laundry at the wrong place... here's Hip Swing by Savage.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

You're Such A Burnout

Cultures around the world are very, very different. Personally, I happen to like our differences. They make us unique and keep life interesting, however they are more than likely the cause of a lot of war. Regardless, our differences can be fun to step back and laugh at.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Friday Night Jam

TGIF!! For all my readers not from the dirty south, this song is what we're all about. Hank Williams Jr., A Country Boy Can Survive..

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Disturbingly Awesome

sponge bob Pictures, Images and Photos

I just saw this on T.V. and I was actually speechless, and anyone who knows me knows that's pretty hard to accomplish. I'm not easily shocked. While I think this commercial is great and funny, it's demographic really has me confused. Who exactly is it aimed at? A commercial about happy meals is obviously aimed at children, but this one seems to be aimed at adults. Maybe it's trying to convince adults to buy happy meals for their kids, or maybe it's goal is to send kids into puberty at an early age. You be the judge.

All I know, is that if I see a girl with a square ass at the club, I'm hitting it just outta principle. Gotta get me some square ass!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Oh Dear

Often in life, animals will do the most unexpected, and seemingly impossible things. But hey, that's why we love them...

Sunday, April 5, 2009

A Step In The Wrong Direction

Pro Life Pictures, Images and Photos

First off let me start by saying I could've easily been aborted or given up for adoption. Both of my parents were only 15 and both were dirt floor poor, yet my mother showed strength and courage and maneged to raise a young man at such a young age. It is for this reason I am anti-abortion. I only believe in abortion to save the life of the mother. Otherwise, at least give the child up for adoption.

I'm not sure of the validity of this video. I haven't researched it and it's obviously part of a campaign against President Obama. I don't care if you like Obama. I don't care if you're Republican or Democrat. If you have a heart in you and a brain in your head, you know this is wrong. This is murder.

Even if you're pro abortion, you can't deny that this particular method needs to be banned. If Michael Vick goes to jail for dog fighting and cruelty to animals, why are the sick people who allow this not convicted of cruelty to children and murder? Wake up America, this is a step in the wrong direction. This is the begining of the end. This Is Cold Blooded Murder.

Pro life Pictures, Images and Photos

What Guys Are Really Thinking

This pretty much sums it up ladies.

LMFAO! I can't wait to hear the remix with Lil Wayne and T-Pain.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

You And Me Baby Ain't Nothing But Mammals

This is an old viral video, but it's so damn funny...

"Keep off my monkey balls"!!

Watching that video made me think of Rudy Ray Moore as Dolemite doing his Signified Monkey bit. Enjoy this classic.

"Way down in the jungle deep..."

And no post about monkey sex would be complete without this song by the Bloodhound Gang, The Bad Touch.

"We'll do it doggystyle so we can both watch X-Files"

Saturday Night Jam

Ok...two weekends in a row, I forget to post up a Friday night jam... I officially suck. But never fear, because tonight I'm providing you with a Saturday night jam in hopes of redemption. Here's a very popular song right now and one of my favorites, Dead and Gone by T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake...

"I've been traveling on this road too long" Haven't we all...

Great song with a great message.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Xtreme Golf!!

The above pics are of the bonus par 3 at the new Legends of Golf & Safari Resort in South Africa known as the "Xtreme 19th". The tee box is located over 1400 feet above the green which is shaped like the continent of Africa. A helicopter ride is required to reach the green. It's more than 630 yards to the green and takes around 30 seconds for your ball to land. It will serve as the playoff hole for all tournaments held there, which will be friggin awesome to watch. It's also pretty affordable to play considering how nice of a course it is. Its only 220 dollars to play all 19 holes, which includes the helicopter ride, souvenirs, and a DVD of your shot. If you happen to get a hole in one, you get a million dollars... no shit. That should pretty much cover all your green fee and expenses. Here's a video of Padraig Harrington and Raphael Jacquelin playing the hole.

This is by far the coolest signature hole in all of golf.

Baddest Mofo In The Animal Kingdom

Meet Turtle!!! King of the water!!! Now I know what you're thinking, turtles aren't very scary predators, but don't be so quick to pass judgement...

I didn't even know turtles ate meat. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you, Don't Fuck With The Turtle! Otherwise he will drag you under the water and drown you.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Saturday Morning Cartoons

Here' one of the newest episodes of one of my favorite shows Family Guy. The episode is entitled Family Gay, so prepare to laugh your ass off. Enjoy.

Sorry that I forgot to post up a friday night jam last night. My work schedule has been screwy and I didn't realize what day it was. As my punishment, I'll be available for public flogging in my bedroom after 10 tonight. wink wink nod nod.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Wax On Wax Off

I love a good ad that makes me laugh and this one accomplished just that.

"Hi there Curly, is your mom home?"


Thursday, March 26, 2009

This Is Just Sad

Some people make it too easy. I saw this vid a couple of weeks ago and wasn't going to share it, but I can't help it. The bulldawg in me says I have to. Corrine Brown is a Democratic Representative from the great state of Florida. She was elected to the house in 1982. How she has remained there all this time is a mystery to me. Maybe it's her degree in Communication/Speech from Edward Waters College, her masters in Education and bachelors in sociology from Florida A&M, or her Education Specialist degree from The University of Florida. All those need investigating in my book. After you see this, I'm sure you'll feel the same. BTW, she's a HUGE Gators fan.

Seriously...WTF? This bitch has a 2nd grade reading level tops and she is an education specialist? The communications/speech degree is extremely baffling. How has the semi retarded woman remained in politics? She's been involved in a shit load of controversy over the years. This speaks so highly of politics in this country. Here's the remix...

GO GATOR. Go Corch Urban Meyers and Percey Harvey. LMAO. Gator Fans... You must be so proud. Her speech is right up there with Tebow's legendary speech.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Good, The Bad, And The Sequel

So before I introduce this next piece, let me apologize for the 3 day hiatus. I've had a house guest from L.A., so I've been preoccupied. Anyways, I'm back, so you can call off the search parties. If you're a regular reader of my site, then you probably remember the video of my friend Justin Pruitt performing the song The Ecstasy of Gold from The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly. If not, look it up in my archives, it's pretty damn awesome. Well he posted a follow up to it today and I figured ya'll would also enjoy it. Here's Justin performing the theme song from The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly...

Be sure to visit YouTube and show him some love.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Why White People Shouldn't Dunk

They say white men can't jump, that's not entirely true. It's the cooridination that's required to complete a dunk that kicks our ass. See exhibit a: Here's Adam Waddell of the Wyoming Cowboys getting a little overly ambitious during this year's NIT tourney...

Friday, March 20, 2009

The Little Bat That Could

For those of you who haven't heard, when the space shuttle Discovery was launched on March 15th, a small free tailed bat was holding on for dear life to the external fuel tank. He held on through launch but probably perished soon after. A wildlife expert who examined video of the bat says he likely had a broken wing and a problem with his wrist or shoulder. Internet speculation is that the brave little creature dreamed of flying again. Some save he bravely went where no bat has gone before. Either way... He will be missed.

Farewell and Godspeed, you brave little bastard...

Friday Night Jam

It's Friday people, and you know what that means... Friday Night Jam! Here's one of my favorite songs off the first tape (that's what we had before Cd's kids) I ever owned, DEF LEPPARD HYSTERIA... Pour Some Sugar On Me!!!!!

If that doesn't get you ready to party... GET THE HELL OUTTA MY COUNTRY!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Opposite Ends Of The Spectrum

Birds are highly intelligent animals...

And then there's squirrels. They fall into the not so much category...

Reminds me of myself on a good Friday night.

White Bread

Anyone around my age, had to love them some Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. If they said they didn't, they're a habitual liar! All Fresh Prince lovers had to enjoy Carlton Banks and his crazy-ass dance. Poor Carlton was like an Oreo cookie, black on the outside, but white on the inside. I saw this over on Neatorama today and it made me laugh, so I decided to share... because sharing is caring!

...and if that wasn't enough of a throwback for you, check this out. Carlton, whose real name is Alfonso Ribeiro, is actually a great dancer. He appeared in a 1984 Pepsi commercial with Michael Jackson and sold his own dance instruction video.

"It's the safe way to break and pop"

Gotta love the 80's.

Unnecessary Censorship

Sesame Street would've been a whole hell of a lot more interesting like this...

"When I'm alone I *BLEEP* myself!"

One Bleep..ah ah ah. Here's another good vid that would've made Sesame Street better, unfortunately I couldn't find it in it's entirety, but it's still good.

"How'd you get the disease Dangle?" "From Fuckin!"

Last Minute Humor

Some last minute St. Patty's Day jokes to celebrate one awesome holiday.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Why I Fly Southwest

Them mofos over at Delta ain't got nothing on this!

"You will not get that on United Airlines"

Brush that dirt off your shoulder David. Somebody needs to give this guy a promotion.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Happy St. Patty's Day From Alabama

There are stereotypes in life and then there are the people who live up to them. These people fall into the latter category.

"Everybody who seen da Leprechaun say yeah!!"

How fucking stupid can you be? These people destroy what little faith I have in future of our society, but atleast they're entertaining. I particularly like the "Irish" guy with the magic flute. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

The Good, The Bad, And The Friggin Awesome!

The Good The Bad The Ugly Pictures, Images and Photos

I have a buddy from high school who I haven't really seen since the good ol' days. He's one of the many old friends I keep up with through Facebook. Anyways he posted a vid up today that really shows off his talent on the guitar and I decided that ya'll might also enjoy it as I did. Here's Justin Pruitt performing the famous song, from The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly, The Ecstasy Of Gold.

Pretty damn impressive in my book. Definitely falls under the good.

My Money Was On The Snake

The animal kingdom is a wild place man. Animals do some scrazy things. Watch what happens when a rabbit decides to tangle with a very large snake. The result will surprise you.

Is that not the world's most bad ass rabbit since Bugs Bunny?

fudd Pictures, Images and Photos

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Grand Funk Youtube

There's a lot of creative, talented people on YouTube, such as whoever created the Mr Roboto vid found here... . lol! Well, a guy named Ophir Kutiel, aka Kutiman, mashed several vids of these creative folks into an entire album called Thru You ( ). Here's the first track off that album.

Mother Of All Funk Chords

And here's another I really like.

This Is What It Became

Thank God for YouTube and the awesomeness it rains down on us. By the way, if you like my Mr Roboto vid, please rate it and leave comments. Thanks guys.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Creativity At Its Best

When some nerd first envisioned the Internet in the 80's, I'm sure he never figured that immature people, such as myself, would have access to it. Well luckily he was wrong! Otherwise we wouldn't have such web gems as this.

What can I say except YEAH!!!!!!!

Friday Night Jam

Another week has passed and it's that time again. Here's your Friday Night Jam, The Gap Band, Oops Upside Your Head! When I was a kid, I used to love me some Gap Band. This shit is classic so enjoy the privilege of hearing it.

80's style baby! And since I'm feeling generous this week, you get a double dose of awesomeness. Here's the always smooth Snoop Dogg bringing the 80's and 90's together with Snoops Upside Your Head.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Touching Commercial

This is a pretty deep commercial. Big props to Coke-A-Cola for something meaningful in advertising.

"I've lived in worst moments than these, but in the end, you'll only remember the good things"

If only every young child could learn the lessons of a man over a century old. Even in the world we live in, with all the evil and sadness around us, we should celebrate birth and the brightness on the horizen.

Why You Shouldn't Assume Things

Listen to this song and then feel ashamed of your dirty mind...

Get your mind outta the gutter. Pervert.

Fishing Poles Are Overrated

About a week ago, I did a post called Southern Noodles. It was about the sport of Noodlin', catching catfish with your bare hands. Well this guy must of saw that post, and decided to take it to the next level...


Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Bored At Work

bender dance Pictures, Images and Photos

Whether or not you like your job, you gotta love the people there. Sure you prolly can't stand a couple of them, but it's the characters that keep life interesting. One of my good buddies at work is Ramon. We get along well, mainly because we both served in the military and we're both silly as fuck. Anyways, he was putting on a steam suit today at work that makes him look like bender from futurama. Well of course the mouse started running in the wheel and the light bulb went off in my head. So enjoy the creation of my crazy mind along with some help from a dancing Puerto Rican in a steam suit!

That's funny right there, I don't care who you are! Domo Arigato Mr. Matias!

Monday, March 9, 2009

How My Funeral Should Be

I consider myself to be a manly man. Meat and potatoes, no rabbit food... know what I mean? Therefore, I'm not a big fan of chick flicks, but seeing as how I really enjoy movies and women, I occasionally tolerate one and if it is decent, I'm not afraid to admit it. Well, one of those chick flicks that I happen to actually like is Elizabethtown. The entire movie is great, but my favorite scene is the funeral scene. I took a facebook/myspace survey today and the last question was what song do you want played at your funeral. My answer was Freebird. I want it to be just like the scene in this movie, without all the people in a panic.

That is hands down the greatest funeral scene ever. So, to my friends and family and any of my readers who give a shit, I wanna be cremated and I want Freebird played at my funeral. I'd prefer a live band, but only if they're good, because I don't want the solo to be cut short. I want it to be a celebration of my life. I'm sure you'll all be sad, but just be happy for me to be in a better place. And please drink some for me afterwards.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Demise

Candy Cigarettes Pictures, Images and Photos

I remember when I was a kid, I used to enjoy smoking candy cigarettes. I guess it was because it made me feel like I was doing something adults do, just like drinking root beer in the old brown bottles or chewing big league chew...and playing doctor with the girl down the street! lol, that last part was a joke. The more I think on it, I don't doubt candies like these led a lot of kids into the real thing. But the newest fad makes me worry. Watch as this little badass hellyun shows you how to smoke smarties...

When they start snorting pixie sticks it's game over people!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

UFC 96

UFC 96 is tonight. The main event is Keith "The Dean of Mean" Jardine vs Quinton "Rampage" Jackson. This should be a great fight. I see Rampage ending this no later than the second round.

Here are a few Rampage Highlights...

Alabama Rehab

A lot of people going through rehab are often in denial about their addiction, but this guy takes it to another level...

"Watch out Sally"

Saturday Morning Cartoons

Yet another great cartoon from Luis Castanon. The Ghetto Antenna 2000...

"You's a punk yo, take me home!"

Friday, March 6, 2009

Friday Night Jam

It's that time of week again. Pour up your favorite drink and enjoy one of my favorite song from the 90's. Big Pun feat. Joe, Don't Wanna Be A Playa...

"I'm not a playa I just fuck alot"

I'm at work tonight, so ya'll drink one or ten for me.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Why I Miss The Marines

The Few, The Proud, The Marines... I've never been so proud as I was the day I graduated boot camp from Parris Island, South Carolina. To this day anytime I get to talk about the Corps or see even a commercial for the Marines, I swell up with pride. The life of being a Marine cannot be described. The Corps is a different world. I originally started this post to get on my soap box and tell you my feelings about the war and the involvement of the media and the everyday American in it. Instead I'll let this clip sum it up...

"You want me on that wall, you need me on that wall"

Basically, my feelings are if you're not a soldier or haven't been one, keep your fucking opinion to yourself. You don't understand what's going on over there and you never will. Get the news cameras out of Iraq and let the soldiers do their job. There is a mission over there that can not be completed in a politically correct manner. It's not pretty, because war is an ugly thing. So either pick up a gun and fight, or shut the fuck up.

Now back to my beloved Marines. After watching that clip, I got all nostalgic. When I watch military movies, particularly ones that involve Marines, I get all pissy. You see, I love a good war movie, but I can't stand the liberties that Hollywood takes because they make the movie fake to me. I see the little things that I know aren't true to life. So when I see truly good flicks about Marines, that really gets it right, I fall in love. They bring back all the right memories, and sometimes nightmares, of the things I miss about being a Marine. The clip from A Few Good Men above is just one of those. Here are couple more of my favorites; this is a close to real life as it gets.

"you will be a minister of death, praying for war"

"Thall shall not kill...FUCK THAT SHIT!"
(I apologize for the video quality, my original was removed and this is the best replacement I could find)

And now for real life...

"get away before you get murdered!"

And now a quick poke at the Army, seeing as how I also was in the Army, I can do that...


Even though I'm a big boy now... that shit is funny. Because atleast when I was active duty, I looked like this...



US Marines Pictures, Images and Photos

The Whole World's Gone Crazy

hannibal Pictures, Images and Photos

WINNIPEG, Manitoba – A Canadian judge ruled Thursday that a man accused of beheading and cannibalizing a fellow Greyhound bus passenger is not criminally responsible due to mental illness.

The decision means Chinese immigrant Vince Li will be treated in a mental institution instead of going to prison. The family of victim Tim McLean dismissed the trial as a "rubber stamp" that allows Li to get away with murder.

"A crime was still committed here, a murder still occurred," said Carol DeDelley, McLean's mother. "There was nobody else on that bus holding a knife, slicing up my child."

The judge said Li should not be held criminally accountable for stabbing McLean dozens of times last July and dismembering his body while horrified passengers fled.

Justice John Scurfield said Li's attack was "grotesque" and "barbaric" but "strongly suggestive of a mental disorder."

"He did not appreciate the actions he committed were morally wrong. He believed he was acting in self-defense," Scurfield said.

Both the prosecution and the defense argued Li can't be held responsible because Li was suffering from schizophrenia and believed God wanted him to kill McLean because the young man was a force of evil.

He will be institutionalized without a criminal record and will be reassessed every year by a mental health review board to determine if he is fit for release into the community.

DeDelley said a yearly hearing is ridiculous, and that Li should be locked up for the rest of his life.

Li's trial barely lasted two days and only heard from two witnesses, both psychiatrists, who testified he is mentally ill.

That Li killed the 22-year-old carnival worker was never in question at the trial. Li has admitted he killed McLean but pleaded not guilty.

Witnesses said Li attacked McLean unprovoked as their bus traveled at night along a desolate stretch of the Trans-Canada Highway.

An agreed statement of facts between the prosecution and defense detailed how passengers stood outside the bus as Li stabbed McLean dozens of times and beheaded and mutilated his body. Finding himself locked inside the bus, Li finally escaped through a window and was arrested.

Li then apologized and pleaded with police to kill him.

Police said McLean's body parts were found throughout the bus in plastic bags, and the victim's ear, nose and tongue were found in Li's pocket.

A psychiatrist called by the prosecution Wednesday testified that Li cut up McLean's body because he believed that he would come back to life and take revenge.

McLean's family is vowing to turn their attention to fighting the law that allows people who are found not criminally responsible to be released into the community once they are deemed well, without serving a minimum sentence in jail.

DeDelley said her son didn't die in vain. His death highlights concerns about the justice system, she said.

"Now people are aware that there is a problem," she said.

As if you didn't already know, this further proves that the judicial system is totally screwed up. I'm just glad this psycho is in Canada and not here. Seriously, What The Fuck is wrong with society? Mentally ill? No shit Sherlock. I remember when this brutal act happened and I was in disbelief as I read it. I just knew this guy would get the chair... but no. This guy gets to sit in a mental hospital until he convinces some shrink he's not crazy anymore, then he'll get out and do it again. I hate when someone does some psycho shit like this and gets off on mental illness. OF COURSE THEY'RE CRAZY!! Normal people do not cut people's heads off. Normal people do not eat people. That doesn't mean he should get off without punishment. Kill his crazy ass. We all have thoughts of killing somebody from time to time.... the difference is we don't do it! We let that shit slide. If only they handled things like this....

"And soldiers we shall be, for thee my lord for thee"

The Boondock Saints had it right. Kill the truly corrupt and let God sort em' out!

Stop.... Hammer Time!!!


Saw this over on Neatorama. Too damn funny.

U Cant Touch This - MC Hammer
"Break it down"

Dude...I wish rap music was still this simple and fun. Hammer was entirely too awesome. There are very few people my age who can say they didn't love that damn song. And if anyone does say that, they are a damn liar. How about them pants? Could anyone other than Hammer pull those off? That's why he was 2 legit... 2 legit 2 quit!!!

MC Hammer - 2 Legit 2 Quit - MC Hammer

Sorry, if I'm gonna mention Hammer, I gotta come correct and give you the double dose! I don't wanna disrespect the man. Please don't hurt em' Hammer.

Why I Got Fired From Work

Why I was fired....

For the last company picnic, management decided that, due to liability issues, we could have alcohol, but only one (1) drink per person.

I was fired for ordering the cups.

I received this as an email today and it totally cracked me up.... because I would seriously do that.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Worse Backseat Drivers Ever

Two pissed off a car. I guess they got tired of walking.

"Turn Left!!! Turn Left!!! I SAID LEFT DAMMIT!!!"

This is all very explainable, as wild as it may seem. I have a good feeling that Dumb and Dumber is their favorite movie and they were simply reenacting their favorite scene.


Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Freestyle Impersonations

I'm a huge fan of stand-up comedy. Ever since I was a little kid, comedians have captured my attention. I love to make people laugh and so I always wanted to be a comedian. I soon found out that most comedians never make it big or make very much money, so that pretty much killed that idea, but I still would love to do an amateur night someday. Aries Spears is a comedian I really enjoy. He's very funny and a great impersonator. Watch as he freestyles and does impersonations at the same time, it's pretty damn cool.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Southern Noodles

Nobody, and I mean nobody, does it like we do it in the Dirty South! Everything is different and better down here and that's what I love. One of our southern traditions that is unique to us is Noodlin'. For those of you not familiar with it, Noodlin' is the act of fishing with your bare hands, particularly for catfish. Noodlers find a catfish hole and stick their arms inside, hoping for the catfish to become defensive and bite down on their arms. It doesn't get much more country than that. Why I must admit I've never been, I do plan on going soon. This is a redneck extreme sport and a rite of passage I must experience for myself. Why it doesn't sound that difficult of a sport, noodlers often get minor injuries such as cuts, but they face a much greater danger from snakes, gators, and possibly even death by drowning. Not to mention that these catfish can weigh close to 100 lbs. This is redneck entertainment at its best. Enjoy watching one of the many games rednecks play.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Facebook Summarized

For all my Facebook users out there, you'll really get a kick out of this vid. Listen as some grey bloke drops knowledge on what Facebook is really all about. You'll find it to be a pretty accurate description. It's basically a dead on account of Myspace too.

"People I sometimes see"

Now don't play you don't know what the hell he's talking about. We all have Facebook or Myspace friends that we haven't seen in years or sometimes have never even met. It's even to the point that one of the first things I ask people is if they have a Myspace page. Unfortunately, our lives have become so busy, that it is often the best way to keep up with folks and it will often tell you a lot more about them than they will. So to all my social networking people out there, keep stalking me...

"thats the song you could be ripping off with geico"

Geico Money Pictures, Images and Photos